


We'll Surely Avoid Scurvy If We All Eat an Orange

by pauraque



Category: Monkey Island
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Epistolary, Gen, Multifandom Drabble Exchange, Terrible Four-Part Harmony, The Curse of Monkey Island, Tortured Adventure Game Logic, Triple Drabble, Volcanic Indigestion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-18
Updated: 2020-07-18
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:00:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25363501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pauraque/pseuds/pauraque
Summary: In which Guybrush joins the Barbery Coast Barbershop Quartet and earns the ire of the Blood Island Cannibals.
Comments: 5
Kudos: 12
Collections: Multifandom Drabble 2020





	We'll Surely Avoid Scurvy If We All Eat an Orange

**Author's Note:**

  * For [elpollodiablo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/elpollodiablo/gifts).



Dear Barbery Coast Barbershop Quartet,

Welcome to our fair island. We're certain you simply haven't realized that, due to the direction of the trade winds, ever since your arrival we've been able to hear your _daily_ practice sessions all the way up to our village.

While we understand the need of professional musicians to practice (particularly given the worrisome state of your tenor's vocal cords), we would appreciate it if you'd occasionally give it a rest.

—The Blood Island Cannibals

* * *

To the Barbershop Quartet—

We hate to be a bother, but our god Sherman, Lord of Mount Acidophilus, has a delicate constitution, and your insistence on repeatedly going over the chorus of "Polly the Squawker Lives In Davy Jones' Locker" is making him sick to his stomach. We recommend you stop attempting four-part harmony that's clearly above your skill level, unless for some reason you _want_ a volcanic eruption on your hands.

—The Cannibals

* * *

To the four jerks who are making the whole island miserable— 

Hey, what's the big idea?! Lemonhead was supposed to be giving Sherman his sodium bicarbonate, but he spilled it everywhere after hearing you people belting out some ridiculous forced rhymes about devouring citrus fruits! Even when we still ate people, we were never rude enough to _sing_ about it. Now we're going to have an eruption for sure, all because you couldn't behave in a civilized manner. I hope you're proud of yourselves.

—The Cannibals

* * *

Dear Cannibals,

Sorry about your volcano. I promise there was a good reason I had to do all those things to make it erupt, but... well, it's a long, multi-stepped, infuriatingly convoluted story. Anyway, I don't need to be part of the barbershop quartet anymore, so I hope we can still be friends.

—Guybrush Threepwood, (former) Mighty Tenor

* * *

Freebird!!!!!

—Pineapplehead


End file.
